With everything that’s going on in our world, I was thinking this past week, man oh man, life can be pretty darn boring, mix in widowhood the day-to-day can be a big snooze!
Literally, do you find you are taking more naps than ever?
Not that I’m against naps, on the contrary I’m a big fan of a good power nap, but what about the rest of the time?
If you’re like many of the women I work with there isn’t a lot of getting out and getting to know new people.
So, yes life can be a real snore if we let it. Is this something you can relate to?? When your late husband passed away....
Did it feel pretty much like everyone abandoned you and disappeared?
No one wanted a newly "single" woman in the mix..... or so it seemed but the truth is, I’m not sure why our friends take a hike, it is one of those unknowns that are pretty common in widowhood life.
For me, when my late husband Mark passed, we had a lot of couple friends that included me for a while, but those invites fizzled out pretty quickly, now it's a rare occasion to see them or chat with most of them at all. Like never, and I’m cool with that, I have made my own life. Yippie!
It was up to me to figure out how to make new friends through things that interested me. I got to decide who with and how I spent my time.
Eventually, after about a year and a half of wearing the widow vail, figuratively speaking, I set out to meet people for companionship which turned into a wonderful man that I wanted to spend my time with.
I was ready to explore what being in a new relationship would be like.
At first, it felt hard and awkward, I was very unsure of what actions steps I should take. With exactly NO help, no cheerleaders, no support I got online, created a dating profile and well, the rest is history.
Now, I am so happy and so in love. Who would have thunk!
It wasn’t easy, it was clunky and confusing, just like the rest of my widow grief journey was.
Not to digress, but no, I did not have the kind of support that I share as Renegade Widow, and how could I have? No one, and do mean no one is offering the kind of support and coaching I do, no one.
I mean, how do we meet new people in a time where the world is just baarely opening up again??
I want to share with you some super easy ways to meet new FUN friends, maybe a nice man to grab a coffee or lunch with.
Who knows what we can stir up when we put our mind to it and make an intentional plan!
Meeeee.... that's who!! And, that’s why I am sharing this blog, to talk about how to add some sparkle and buzz to your life.
Here are some very simple things you can easily and intentionally do to help you create a little buzz and sparkle in your life.
1.) Be open to new positive possibilities
So many women don’t realize they get to decide. If you are still in guilt mode thinking you don’t deserve to be happy, ask yourself, what would your late husband want for you? Journal it out, have a heart to heart talk with yourself and come to terms with the fact that it is more than okay for you to get busy creating a life you want to live and be happy in. If you want to talk it through, let's talk.... the first call is always on me! What do you have to lose?
2.) "If you're happy tell your face" Zig Ziglar
This sounds so simple and yet, the next time you’re in the grocery store take a look around at all of the sourpuss faces walking around, closed off and unfriendly. That makes me so sad for them, but you and I do not have to be that way, my friend. We can generate the sparkle and buzz in our life, feel good about who we are, and walk around, head held high, smiles intact and having a better than good day. (another Zig-ism)
3.) Look for activities that you enjoy, that really sound fun and join groups that do that
Some ideas I came up with for the recent Facebook Live in our Renegade Widow private group, are Co-ed Kickball, Karaoke, a writing class, a kayaking group, a hiking or walking club… the possibilities are endless. If you love to quilt that is incredible BUT you won’t meet the man of your dreams in a quilting circle. Teehee
A few ideas to meet new friends organically, is be friendly in the grocery store- granted you shouldn’t schlep around buying groceries in your pajama bottoms and expect someone to be attracted to you, not even in a boy meets girl way, but just in a way that someone can’t help but to pick up on your positive energy vibe!
Go inside the bank to do your banking, the drive through is convenient but you won’t meet anyone that way.
Start a book club of your own, use meetup.com to let others know what you're doing and how to join. Meetup.com is not a dating site, not at all, it is super user friendly, my 8-year-old grandson could do it. Yay for simplicity!
Join a small group at church... or start going to church, it's time my friend.
Remember Danny Zuko in the movie Grease, how forlorn he was stranded at the drive in, stranded a fool, what will they say...... there's nothing left for me....
I am challenging you to decide to become proactive in your own life, become your dangbern (yep, that is a Terriann-ism) activity director.
Ready to stop being lonely?? Instead... thriving .... living.... loving, make a comment on this blog how you already or plan to get more sparkle and buzz in your life!
Cheers to more fun!